Awwwwwww!

After 7 years of marriage, it’s been reported that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are filing for divorce. Now for most of you die hard crack fiend’s, you already know from a previous article written when the two first got married, that we predicted divorce at 5 years. Now we’re usually spot on balls accurate (a quote from one of my favorite movies-the first to name it in the comments get a t-shirt; email editor@thebootycrack.com for confirmation), however I’m assuming that the two years extra is because they have a couple of projects in the works and they decided to stick together in order to see those through. But somebody just couldn’t hold out. I wonder who? Well, any real nigga’ knows that it’s probably the female. Why? Cause nigga’s will just continue to do whatever the fuck they want to do, they don’t need the divorce to keep fuckin’ up. While on the other hand women are quick to throw that shit in the mix. It used to be that a woman could threaten divorce for 5-7 years before any actual action be taken. Now days, when a woman speaks on divorce, within 6-8 months the bitch got papers in hand. It makes me question the authenticity of all divorces, when you see so many. Especially these days when women ain’t fuckin’ like they used to. Women ain’t cookin’ like they used to. Women damn sure ain’t givin’ head like they should be (fuck how they used to, ‘cause head is still relatively new to the black woman). All these things inspire nigga’s to go and pinch off a piece of pussy in other areas. A little head here or there ain’t never hurt nobody. And so you mean to tell me that because you found out that Sally (ah hell, don’t let the bitch be white) sucked my dick one night 4 months ago, we gotta get a divorce? Bitch please! I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt, and I apologize if you feel disrespected, but that’s exactly why you ain’t got no business goin’ through my shit. ‘Cause you all up in some shit that you ain’t go no business being in, and now look at the drama we gotta go through, all because you nosey in a mu’fucka’?

Anyway, all that to say that The mutha’fuckin’ BootyCrack, like always, is right on point again (minus a year or two), and that women need to step they fuck game up. Break the pussy off in chunks, not slices. Issue head to completion, and quit it with the 4 minute spit shine (it ain’t cool). And last but not least, no matter what it takes, do everything you can to save your marriage. It’s a holy bond, and it’s worth every drop of your ego, pride, and self-respect to save it (I said self-respect, not self-love…never give that up…ever!).

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention…she misses that fat black meat sack. I wonder how long it’ll be before Diddy’s back to diggin’ that out? I give it 8 months (I’m usually money-don’t bet against me)!

BootyCrack 1 Time.